sod's law strikes again, sorry about the table

saturday night, a table free. not free but unoccupied. we are waiting, we are waiting, the phone rings.what should we do? the table is booked but we 45 minutes have passed since and still no-one here. take the booking. ten minutes later and they arrive. but who is it. of course it is the table, an hour or so late but they are here and we cannot seat them. we feel terrible but what can we do? what should we have done?

go back 24 hours. the night is dead. wales are playing rugby and the wru owe us big time. only four tables are booked and thankfully one of those is a big party. of the other three tables, two don't show. what should we do? i've done it myself, so we don't ring. we have the number but we don't ring. sometimes you want to ring more than others. when you are full, you want to ring.

'we could have sold that table' you want to scream down the 'phone, 'where are your manners?'

but we don't ring. what's the point? to make myself more angry. i can do that without other people being involved so that's what i do.

on friday, it's not such a problem. a no-show when all the tables are free anyway, so what.

on saturday, i can only apologise. but in my defence, in three years, this is the only time that the no-show has been a show. every other time we just stand and look at the empty table.

and that's not good. the margins for us are very small. we are cheap and that is a policy. but sometimes this means that customers treat you cheap and that is not on. i keep the prices down because the only other solution is to shut the place down. that is why we shut at lunchtimes, because the other route means VAT and that means closing; we simply could not pay it. and that means three nights, some very quiet, thursday and friday, this week, and others busy, saturday last. the people who work for us deserve better than we can offer and that is why we do as much for you as we can. sometimes these people are treated very shabbily, and that happened last week. the upshot of this will be a new policy from next week. i rely heavily on the team that we have and if you value us, then please value them.

a bit sad now

wayne

the recipe for cornbread

i've been asked for this recipe by two customers, so here it is.

you can veganise the recipe quite easily by using vegan cheese (hungry planet does several varieties) and using a mix of soya milk, silken tofu and tapioca starch as the egg substitute.

fry onion medium onion and two red peppers in olive oil until soft. do this over a medium heat because you don't want them to burn. grate two courgettes into a bowl and add the peppers and onions. grate 200g of mature cheddar and add this to the bowl as well as a 400g tin of sweetcorn, or the equivalent frozen or, when available, fresh. drain the sweetcorn first. Now add about 5oz of cornmeal grits or coarse polenta. we add the grits because i feel that the texture is a little better after. we get ours from shop rite on city road. add one heaped teaspoon of baking powder.

in a jug blend 125ml of double cream, one egg, 25ml of lime juice. put all the ingredients together in the bowl and mix. this mix should not be too wet but should drop from a spoon easily. set the oven to 160C and place your mix into a lined baking tray or into a silicone cake pan and bake until the mix is firm to the touch and nicely coloured.

this is the most delicious recipe, so enjoy

cheers

wayne

ode to bill and eva (and leanne)

i would like to thank bill and eva for their incredible generosity last night and also to eva's parents. when lying awake this morning, i decided to do it in rhyme. here goes


the night didn't start well
when we found out that mel
was ill and couldn't come in
but thank you leanne
for upsetting your man
and working, though your food in the bin.

the service was fast
the clientele vast
all the tables were booked for the night
when in through the door
keith and chris, they did pour
though no table was there in sight

but the place where they sat
belonged to sara and nat
who had yet to come in through the door
and leanne she did swoon
as she looked round the room
for it looked likely that they'd eat on the floor

for a booking was taken
or should i say took
but had not been written down in the book
and the desserts, they were still
in the kitchen, not till
and for a table we had long time to look

then i spied near the till
there sat eva and bill
and her parents, who were in for the night
so with a rather bad head
i approached them and said
would you mind getting out of my sight

now the four took this well
and began to me tell
to take off that ridiculous frown
and the desserts, they appeared
and the table was cleared
and sara and nat, they sat down

twas a hard night, last night
and we finished midnight
when jill and the rest did depart
but to bill and leanne
to eva and her clan
may i say, thank you with all of my heart.

cheers guys, it's people like you who make this thing worth doing.

love and light

wayne